Anticipation

Fun fact: 16 days until I leave for Korea.

   I guess I just wanted to share my plans with everyone. In 16 days I will be boarding a plane to South Korea. Actually to San Francisco but then to Korea if you want to be precise. I am excited, but I hate this part of the travel experience.

   For one, the wait. Anticipation is a killer for me, I hate it. When it is a long wait, I don't really mind. I just kind of stop thinking about it for a while because I know there is no reason to get myself worked up for something that won't happen for months. But when it gets to the last few weeks, things start to change. You simply cannot push it out of your mind. Even if you try, the excitement and wonder seems to bubble to the surface instantly. Not only that but at this point you have so many last minute things you need to do, stuff you need to buy, people you need to speak to, and so on. So putting your coming travels out of your mind completely is detrimental unless you want to forget something important. But the second reason I hate this part is because of the flight. I don't mind flying, I like it, but after a few hours being stuck in a pressurized tube with however many other people gets well... annoying.

   Usually I like to travel alone. I really don't like having the burden of someone else to look after or potentially ruin what I set out to do for the day. But it isn't just that. I am the kind that needs to drink stuff in alone. As I have said before when I went to Japan, I love to just sit on the sidewalk and watch crowds go by. In that moment I am completely quiet, but my mind is a cacophony of internal narrative and careful thought processes. I am trying to view the scene and people I am seeing as best I can in a clear and unimpeded way. Perhaps I am making no sense, or perhaps I am making complete sense I don't know. I do know there are people out there that I could travel with who would understand this and be able to support my foibles selflessly. But this person would be a very specific person and not just anyone I am afraid.

   So then, why did I book a plane ticket to Seoul 3 days early with 2 other people I hardly know? As I've said previously in this blog, one of the best things you can do for yourself is to put yourself out of your comfort zone every once in a while. You never know what will come of it. Perhaps it will be a dismal experience but in the end if you didn't ride the wave, you will never know where it would take you. To me that is too much of a risk. So I am travelling with 2 others who were accepted to the same program I was and are from San Antonio. I don't know what this experience will be like. I think these people are pretty cool people, but beyond that, who knows? I certainly don't and to me, that's enough.