Friday, July 31, 2015

The Weather

Screw this weather. The End.

   Yesterday my little group and I went on an adventure into Seoul. We saw quite a few things including a palace performance. Unfortunately, however, I cannot say I have much to show you on the matter. I will surely be going back to these places in the near future because I absolutely could not focus on sight seeing.

   "Could not focus" is an understatement. I was completely shocked by the amount of absolute suck that is South Korean weather. I have never in my life experienced heat like this. I was born and raised in a very dry climate. With that comes sweltering heat its true. But this heat was on a different scale. The reason for that was the humidity. Embarrassing and uncomfortable does not begin to explain the way I felt sweating profusely while walking around. I looked like I had never walked more than 10 feet in my life. It wasn't the actual activity though. I could have stood in one spot the whole day and been sweating just the same amount.

   Anyways all my complaining aside, I really liked what I saw. I need to go back for sure, but I think that will have to wait for a cooler season. I will show a couple of photos I tried to take but they aren't great at all. My mind was more like, "Please stop sweating," than, "What is my shutter speed?" So forgive me.

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

First Day Blues

   I'm just going to be honest here. But first thing is first, I am in Korea.

   Currently I am staying in Incheon. Incheon is a city a little bit outside of Seoul, the capitol of South Korea. This is the first city you will enter since the national airport is in Incheon.

   About that flight... it is terrible. I love to fly as I have mentioned before, but any flight over about 2 hours is terribly uncomfortable. My advice, adjust to the new time zone early if you have the chance by trying to stay up during the night and sleeping during the day. It sucks while trying to adjust, but it is going to suck no matter where you try to accomplish it. Next choose a flight that is in the morning (your time which happens to be the other time zone's night time) and you will be so tired during the flight that you will knock out no matter what the level of comfort is.  At least I know I do. Oh, and invest in a neck pillow!

   Anyways I am here safely and I guess that is all the matters. I can't, however, say I am completely happy. I remember going to Japan and how happy I was by being there. Simply stepping off the airplane felt like a huge achievement. I was ready, I was excited and eager to explore. Here in Korea... at least this first day, I don't feel exactly the same way. Please don't misunderstand me, I am grateful to have this opportunity and I am not infinitely melancholy or anything close. But I do have a little bit of the blues. I felt no real drive to record any vlogs for the first day, and even my photography suffered because of these blues. My heart was just elsewhere today.

   Perhaps it was just a harder flight than I thought, but I think it is more than that. I couldn't possibly explain why I feel this way in one single blog post. Partly because you would have to read a very lengthy post, and partly because I really don't know why myself. However, I can pin point two reasons for sure.

   First off, I wanted to get out of my comfort zone and book my flight a few days early with two other people. These two are great, I have no issues with them in any way. But I think this was a mistake all the same. I am just simply not the kind of person to travel with friends. I can't explain it. It is not as if they are dragging me down, or ruining my experience in any way. In fact for any other person these two would probably enhance the experience, they are just really fun people.

   Now more than ever though, I have come to the conclusion that I am a very reclusive person. I do not want to be, but I am very uncomfortable with people. I never thought it was this bad, but the way I feel right now only serves to confirm what I am and to what degree it afflicts me. I do not like that I am this way. I like people, I like their stories, and yet I can't feel comfortable around them for too long. I don't know when this became a thing, perhaps I have always been like this, but I wish I wasn't.

   I am afraid of what this may mean for my future relationships. Before I never had a problem spending lots of time with a girlfriend or someone I was dating. But that was a very long time ago. I have wondered why I have been single for so many years, and I feel like I may know now. If that isn't the case, then this has developed in that long period of time, and I wonder how a future relationship would carry out. I guess it isn't important right now, there are no girls knocking down my hotel room door or anything, but it has been on my mind. By the way, one thing that really set this off is that I found out I will be having a roommate for three weeks during orientation. That really upset me.

   Secondly, for my blues, I feel like I have really made my family sad because of leaving for so long. I mean, that's normal right? Anyone would be at least a little sad that their loved one will be half way across the world for an extended period of time. But I don't like the feeling of doing this to my family. I have always felt an inexplicably high sense of responsibility for them, and doing this makes me feel like I am not fulfilling those responsibilities and making their lives a little more difficult at the same time.

   I am home sick already... to say the least. I want to be with my family more now than I ever have before. I felt a little bit like this before I left to Japan, but not to this degree at all. Maybe its because of the length, maybe not. Its weird too, because I really don't have the mindset of particularly needing anyone around me. I am a survivor and, as I stated above, a recluse. I get by alone very well no matter what the situation. But it is not because I need my family to do for me, rather I want to do for them. Here I am almost helpless. I know they will get by with or without me. They are not completely hopeless cases who can't do without me, but as I have said before, that's not at all the point.

   I hope this subsides. I don't know what to do about my reclusive tendencies, but I do hope that I am just having normal home sickness. I really think I am, I think it just hit me hard this time. Here is to hoping for better moods!

   Thanks for reading guys, I appreciate it. I know this one was kind of a heavy one. I will be recording more vlog videos about my travels soon. I know many people liked those so please be on the lookout for those and share my blog with anyone who might be interested.

Sunday, July 12, 2015


Fun fact: 16 days until I leave for Korea.

   I guess I just wanted to share my plans with everyone. In 16 days I will be boarding a plane to South Korea. Actually to San Francisco but then to Korea if you want to be precise. I am excited, but I hate this part of the travel experience.

   For one, the wait. Anticipation is a killer for me, I hate it. When it is a long wait, I don't really mind. I just kind of stop thinking about it for a while because I know there is no reason to get myself worked up for something that won't happen for months. But when it gets to the last few weeks, things start to change. You simply cannot push it out of your mind. Even if you try, the excitement and wonder seems to bubble to the surface instantly. Not only that but at this point you have so many last minute things you need to do, stuff you need to buy, people you need to speak to, and so on. So putting your coming travels out of your mind completely is detrimental unless you want to forget something important. But the second reason I hate this part is because of the flight. I don't mind flying, I like it, but after a few hours being stuck in a pressurized tube with however many other people gets well... annoying.

   Usually I like to travel alone. I really don't like having the burden of someone else to look after or potentially ruin what I set out to do for the day. But it isn't just that. I am the kind that needs to drink stuff in alone. As I have said before when I went to Japan, I love to just sit on the sidewalk and watch crowds go by. In that moment I am completely quiet, but my mind is a cacophony of internal narrative and careful thought processes. I am trying to view the scene and people I am seeing as best I can in a clear and unimpeded way. Perhaps I am making no sense, or perhaps I am making complete sense I don't know. I do know there are people out there that I could travel with who would understand this and be able to support my foibles selflessly. But this person would be a very specific person and not just anyone I am afraid.

   So then, why did I book a plane ticket to Seoul 3 days early with 2 other people I hardly know? As I've said previously in this blog, one of the best things you can do for yourself is to put yourself out of your comfort zone every once in a while. You never know what will come of it. Perhaps it will be a dismal experience but in the end if you didn't ride the wave, you will never know where it would take you. To me that is too much of a risk. So I am travelling with 2 others who were accepted to the same program I was and are from San Antonio. I don't know what this experience will be like. I think these people are pretty cool people, but beyond that, who knows? I certainly don't and to me, that's enough.